What does Easter mean to me?

I have been negligent in participating in Dorrie's weekly "Blog Topic" challenge over at Love is in the Details. This week, the topic is about Easter and family traditions and what Easter means to me.

Well, Easter is just a few days off from work for me now. It wasn't always the case.

I was raised in a household with a very non-religious father and a lapsed Catholic mother. We didn't do Easter, but that didn't matter because we couldn't afford extras. Hey, I lived on hand-me-downs - but they were hand-me-downs from Hong Kong so I was actually very stylish. And rice is cheap!

When I was in my teens, my mom got involved with church and I followed. I really did believe. I followed all the Catholic traditions. I was really involved in Ash Wednesday, Lent, Easter week. I loved it.

But then life got hard. My dad's gambling got out of hand, he left us, my mom lost her job - this was during the recessionary times of the late 1980s to early 1990s. Working nose to the grindstone and carrying a full course load at university - well, I just lost my faith. Why would a Supreme Being turn his back on our family again? First my brother - very severely autistic - if he were only born 10 years later, there would be so much more therapies available to him, instead of him being institutionalized and not being able to function in society. The last thing my mom wanted to do was to put him in a home. But, being poor and not knowing if this month was the last month in the house before the bank repossessed, my mom had to go to work. Unfortunately, as an immigrant with little formal education, all she found was sweatshop work.

Then, I got married, had children. All I wanted in the world was to stay at home with my children. It didn't happen. Oh yeah, I prayed that it would happen for me. It didn't. So I don't feel the need to believe and be thankful. I'm thankful that I am able to earn a living but I'm certainly not thankful that it's against my will. It's been almost 20 years since I went to church and I can't say that I feel the need to. I don't feel my children are lacking because they aren't baptized. My grandparents live a very moral life and they do not believe in a Supreme Being. So I try to live a moral life without worship but I absolutely respect others' religious beliefs and practices.

So my family and my kids - we don't have any Easter traditions. My kids have never anticipated the Easter Bunny. My ILs host an Easter dinner and get baskets for the kids, but they know we are not religious-oriented and they respect that. It is just a time for us to get together and have a meal as a family.

Phew. That was long. I promise I won't talk religion again.

And because this is also a running blog, I will say that I have not run since Friday. :-( I wanted to rest my knee a bit on Saturday, then I ended up too busy today due to M's birthday dinner. So I will do my long run tomorrow.